End of a Nightmare
by Beezelbuffs Mistress
Summary: Gin can't help but be selfish, even in love.


Enjoy! I apologize, English is not my first language, so I hope everything is in order.

EXTREMELY explicit materiel.

Please don't read unless comfortable with homosexual erotica.

Thank you.

Kira lay with his hands behind his head, focusing on the subtle throbbing pain of the roof on the back of his soft flesh as they held the weight of his blonde head. It was something he did frequently, focus on some miniscule thing, but it was essential. It was the only thing that could slow his seeping into abolishable despair. He would have let it overtake him, this pain, and allowed himself to end it, but he still had Soul Society to protect and people to be there for, and until he was absolutely positive that he would leave absolutely no void behind him, he would continue to suffer.

This roof was familiar to him. In the past, he had spent many nights laying there, knowing that in the warm room beneath him lay his reason for living, though the man didn't know that. Ichimaru Gin had always fascinated Kira, since there first encounter, and after no time at all he found himself looking at the odd man as his master. Being the man's head subordinate did nothing but fuel his obsession. He had the ability to tail the man continuously and, though he knew of Gin's strength, felt as if he was protecting him. He knew he would willingly die in place of his captain, and the knowledge of his own loyalty pleased him in an oddly narcissistic way. Not that Gin had seemed to mind.

He himself loved to tease the hell out of his Kira. The young man's face absolutely fascinated him when it was covered with a light pink hue, and making him blush had become Gin's new aspiration. The man had always held such delicate facial features, always showing a clear display of his emotions. Gin had even caught himself wondering if they both had been born to be together, side by side, yin and yang. Gin, his permanently blank, smiling face, and his expressive little Kira, an open and honest book.

Kira sighed lightly, sitting up to get his pillow from the room only to return to the roof to sleep. After his captain had left, his room was to be given away, his things disposed of. Kira had stopped that, taking his masters room (with a lack of everybody's surprise), and giving his own living quarters away. But still, so many months after his best friend's betrayal, he still couldn't sleep in the room. So many times had Gin, not wanting to be bothered to do it himself, asked Kira to go see if there was anything to be done. And so many times (after doing whatever was needed of Gin) had Kira gone into the other mans room to report that all was well. So many times had he wanted to stay in the unexpectantly cluttered room, even if just to watch his captain lay on his bed nonchantly and read or sleep or anything. Anything if it meant watching the mysterious man.

But always he would leave, giving the man his peace. Kira smiled softly to himself, remembering the time Gin had called him out on doing his dutys for him. It had been at a meeting for the third division, and he, Kira, had been sitting next to the head of the table were Gin was telling all of the third squads members duties until the next meeting. 'And you, Kira. Please continue to do my work, I rather like napping during the day'. It had been mortifying, and he could feel the blush on his face as he stared wide-eyed at his superior. But then, he had moved his head to the side, his white soft-looking hair blocking his eyes slightly. And his smile had lessened just slightly, giving it a more sincere look. And that was the first time he had ever seen his masters eyes, open just enough to inspect himself, the color an odd, dark red. And then he had continued with the meeting, his face back in place. Kira focused on the irritating heat of his pillow under his head and the soreness of his back as he distracted himself from remembering the thoughts he had had during the rest of that meeting.

Gin continued to stare at Kira, even after his head had fallen to the side and his bright blue eyes had closed. It was only the second time he had ever done this, visit his Kira, with quite a many months since the last visit where he was almost caught by that pain Byakuya. Since then, Aizen had told him that if he wanted to visit the past, he would have to bring it into the future. But he couldn't do that.

For too long he tried to suppress the memories of his loyal companion, fabricating himself a story were Kira had already gone on with his life, forgetting his captains betrayal. Or, better yet, understand that the way they were living was inferior to a world that can be brought on by Los Nochas. He had been close to succeeding, too, thoughts of his old friend fading into the deep background of his mind. It wasn't that hard in the dull world Hueco Mundo had to offer.

But it was just _too _dull. He terribly missed the fun Kira had brought on, the emotions and thought process and presence that no other seemed to possess or compare to. And that's all he could think about, for weeks or months or whatever. It was a feeling that was meant to be brought on by his new world, a dullness with a liking of death, but one that he himself had never had. He always had Kira to push those feelings or thoughts into nothingness, replaced by the warm interest the blonde man could always bring on.

And that had been absent from his life for too long. After meeting the shinigami, he realized that not being with Kira would be a terrible irritation, so he avoided such instances often, even at the occasional time when Kira didn't notice his presence on a path close to the one he was walking or sitting on a window behind the subordinates' desk. Just to _be_ with him and keep with his almost research of the man. The prospect of not being able to do so hadn't even crossed his mind until after his move to the arrancars world had been over.

So, through that pain, he had decided to indulge himself one more time. To do such a thing, only visiting once was…annoying, what Gin wanted Gin always would get, but he knew, for the sake of the only thing he held dear, that he would have to be selfless, if only this once. So he had come back to his old home, come back to this man, only for one more peek, and then truly no more.

But he couldn't do it. He couldn't carry out the end of his mission, to turn his back and go to his new domain. At first it was selfish, how could he ever not be with this man? He wouldn't be happy. But then, as he inspected the face that he had so many times before, he realized things. His vibrant, and almost annoyingly blue eyes had a certain dullness to them. The smooth pale skin of his face was tarnished by slight darkness under and around his lids, showing lack of sleep. His smooth, pale cheek had a small shadow, showing an inwardness that never used to be there, a thinness that wasn't natural. His Kira was practically..dying. And Gin wouldn't allow that to happen. Even if he had to fight off all of soul society, and have a nuisance of an argument with Aizen, he knew that he would never be able to leave the young man there. He would never be able to leave the young man again. He jumped down to the sleeping form and, with the stealth and smoothness of a fox, lifted the exhausted man from his roof, creating a portal to his room in Hueco Mundo, and returning home without a thought about his old home and his old companions. He had the only thing that had ever mattered to him in his arms anyway.

It had been about an hour that Kira had been lying on his bed, Gin estimated. He sat on the edge of his grand bed, staring at the young man as he slept. He never had mentally used the word 'angelic' in his head, or out loud for that matter besides one time when he had tasted some pork, but, looking at Kira, he couldn't think of another word. His chest gently rose and fell under his yukata and his blonde eyelashes casted shadows along his clear skin, the blonde light hair laying perfectly on white sheets.

The instant he had laid Kira on the bed, his face had gotten this oddly pure expression of euphoria, and his head tipped to the side closer to Gins pillow and his familiar scent. And he had stayed like that, absent one pale hand moving from his side to lay on his stomach.

In all off this peculiar combination of contemplating and letting his mind go blank to the sight before him, Gin came to a funny realization. This man would be the death of him. Gin lifted a white hand onto the thin ankle next to him. He would give his precious life, beyond a doubt, for this one insignificant person. Gins blank face changed as he smiled his small true smile. He had gotten all he had strived for in the past years but somehow, this one young shinigami was the only one that mattered. Gin wondered when that had happened.

He sighed lightly, turning to lean against the wall of his room, not wanting to sleep but to observe. That was another thing Kira had done to him. Though he was always sly about it, Gin had always been one for action, observation and thought hardly a main aspect of anything but more like a chore. But this, watching this peculiarly kind person, changed that completely. This man, who had actually burdened his existence more than anything, was the best part of his life. He remembered when he realized those feelings, an unnamable as they were. It had been about two months after relocating to Hueco Mundo. He had been sitting in his chair at the long meeting table, next to a drawling Aizen, and contemplating why he wasn't ruler. He was just as powerful, and definitely had as much if not more manipulating skills. The only reason all the arrancar followed him so obediently was because Aizen had created many of them and…he had no fears. But, neither did Gin. It didn't take much thinking for Kira popped into his head. Soon followed by the idea of Kira's death popped into his head. Fear was a really annoying emotion.

Now, all that was left, was to make Kira his. He had him, had him in his bed in fact, so all opportunities were present. Gin thought back to his time of still being sector threes captain, and he knew that back then Kira would have easily given up all for Gin. But now, more then not a year later, Gin had no idea where the young man's loyalty stood. All he could do was wait for him to wake up and test his reaction. All he had to do was expose his true (and really only) feelings, and hope for acceptance rather than the latter. In the case of rejection, the pain of a life without the man seemed too great. He would have to give him his powers and die. And Gin knew he was to power-hungry to allow that to happen.

Kira woke up from a surprisingly good sleep. They were usually troubled, not quite filled with nightmares but bad, heavy feelings that caused him to wake up wanting to cry. No, this time was definitely different. He was surrounded by softness, and a subtle constant smell that made his body seem to function easier. He didn't want to open his eyes. It couldn't be morning, even though he was as refreshed as if it was, because there was darkness beyond his eyelids. He heard a gentle breathing and wondered absentmindedly if it was his, not even worried of the possibility that it wasn't.

Then he realized, this was Gins scent. One that he only ever smelled in those awkwardly stalkerish moments when he'd take a quick shameful whiff of his captains shirt before putting it in the wash. Maybe he had accidently sleepwalked from the hard roof into the familiar bed, but it seemed unlikely for him to be that disrespectful, even in unconsciousness. He breathed in deeply once more before facing the heartbreaks of another day before opening his eyes. He met an unfamiliar ceiling, one a pasty white in the darkness, so different from the vibrant white in the other room that Kira had grown accustomed to standing in. He heard one low chuckle.

"Really, Kira-kun, you need more sleep if you take this long in one go" came a cheerful, smooth voice. Kira paused before lowering his eyes. There, sitting against the wall with his elbows resting on his knee caps, was his former captain. Kira froze. He didn't normally dream. Maybe his body was trying to drive itself into suicide. Or maybe Gin had come to spear him of his life. But then, he wouldn't bring him out of Soul Society.

Kira sat up, is eyes wide and face unmoving, his blonde hair the only thing on his body that really shifted, until he was in a criss-cross sitting position, facing someone who was very much real.

"Ichimaru-sama! What…what are…what am I doing here?" asked Kira, hoping he wasn't being rude but a bit to curious and shocked to do anything about it.

"Hn? Well, it seems your taking a nap. Was it good?"

"Huh?"

"The nap."

"Ah. Yes, sir" Kira answered. He couldn't believe that after all this time they were having a simple mindless conversation. Or that Gin still made the blood rush to his face.

Gin looked at the pretty color he had longed for, and smiled his true smile, something he only ever did around this person.

"How have you been, Kira-kun?" said Gin, loving the contact they were actually having after so long.

"I've...uh…busy. And yourself?" Kira said, knowing in some part of him that he should be doing something other than idle conversation with such a wanted man but knowing, not-so-deep down, that he could never willingly inflict harm.

"Same as you, I'm sure" Gin said with a smile. There was a pause, and something in the way that Kira looked up at Gin through a blonde bang made the betrayer confident in the now. Whatever was about to happen, he would make sure it was in Kiras benefit.

"Why am I here in…Hueco Mundo? What is it you need?" asked Kira softly, digging short fingernails into the surprisingly soft palm of a fighter, embarrassed in knowing that Gin knew how against regulations he was being.

"Well. I missed you. Did you miss me, Kira-kun?" Gin said, smiling and acting confident to hide the fact that, even the possibility was miniscule; the chance of getting rejected would kill him.

Kira looked up at Gin, knowing he was red in the face. How did he do this to him? He took a breath. Lying would do nothing, and, though teasing was a definite possibility, the fact that it would be Gin teasing him would make it alright. Anything with this man was alright.

"Yes. I did" he said. Gins face dropped completely, before grinning as wide as ever.

"Really? Show me. Kiss me" he said, his knees dropping with his arms to his side, his head cocked over, awaiting the others reaction. It didn't disappoint. He looked at a risk to combust.

Kiras mind went very, very blank. There was…there was nothing, not even speculation, for a good couple of seconds. Kiss him? It seemed a forbidden idea. But he seemed so sincere. Kira gulped a couple times. What was this, what was Gin playing at? His captain, his friend, the only one he truly selfishly cared for. Was he mocking him? But…he had no reason to, he had nothing to gain. Except, maybe, more of a chance to taunt Kira but…that would bring him happiness, right? And that…that would be ok. There was nothing to fear, not now, not with Gin.

Kira got on his knees, the caps touching the side of Gins leg, as he settled down and brought his face forward. He touched his lips to his very, very softly. Gin, with no smile or frown, savored the feelings. Their lips…were so soft against one another. Were so perfect. They both wondered, weakly, why neither of them had made an advancement before.

Kira felt a warm pressure of Gins hand against the back of his head, pulling them closer. The movement made him open his mouth in a silent whimper, when Gin gently licked his tongue in. The tongues touched and gently moved against one another as Gin moved to the side, holding Kiras shoulders as he moved himself onto his legs and wrapped his arms completely over the smaller man, the grip tightening until nothing in any of the worlds could separate them as Gin lent forward and they both fell onto his pillow, their mouths steadily picking up pace.

Kira picked up his hands and ran them up the other mans strong front until they were resting on his chest, his mind absent from thought. He found the edges to the man's robes and pulled apart until they were off and Kiras arms were wrapped tightly under the man's arms, holding him,

Gin smiled slightly into the kiss. It seemed he was already rid of all clothes and left in boxers, while his Kira was still dressed. Gin unwrapped himself, pulling away from a slightly panting Kira and sitting atop him. The blonde looked up, his lips red and flushed and his eyes suddenly wide to what he was doing. Gin smiled, and leaned down, giving the inside of Kiras collarbone a lick. The man let out a shuddering breath.

Gin made his way quickly up to nip a delicate earlobe before heading downwards, his hands moving clothing away before his mouth made contact. Gin found himself at a chest, and gently nuzzled his nose in it before swooping a small lick onto a pink nipple. Kira let out an odd choking sound, and Gin stole a quick glance upward to the blushing face before licking it again, his body rocking with his mouth until his lips enclosed around the bud, a hand going to the other neglected nipple and rubbing it to hardness before pinching it, earning another gasp among the soft erotic moans.

Gin sat up and separated the rest of his companion's clothing, relaying a bulge similar to his own beneath a plain pair of boxers. Kira looked up, blushing, and saw red eyes looking back at him. He froze at the look, earning himself a small chuckle. He watched as Gin laid on him once again, and found himself clutching white hair tightly to his face in a passionate kiss. He could feel Gin grinding against him, and soon neither could tell whose moan was from whose from the deep, heavy noises and pants coming from the men, the friction between one another's arousals sending waves of vibrating pleasure.

Gin pushed up, and looked down at his Kira, no expression on his face. The look was sinister, and arousing, and Kira felt he could do nothing but stare back, feeling rather stupid.

"My Kira-kun…." murmured Gin breathily, quirking his head to one side.

"…Yes..G…Gin?" he murmured,embarrassed at his lack of formality; but allowing it considering their current positions.

"I'd wonder if you'd mind taking me".

Kira had never felt so completely void of thought before, not even when they had kissed. Not even when he had first set eyes on the man. Not even when he had left. He stared at the face, looking for some sign of taunting or joke. There was none. He nodded once.

"You'll have to prepare me, though. I've never been with a man" he said as he sat up, offering a hand to help Kira. Kira was red all over, not a blush so much as a flush of arousal.

"Here, turn around for a moment so I see what I'm doing" Kira said, deciding to take authority. It was going to be Gins first time with a man. His very first time. Kira had never felt such honor, never felt such trust put into him. Gin was always expressionless, but your first penetration had to be fearful for anyone.

Kira watched Gin pull the boxers down, and registered the site. His body was a consistent pale, all lovely, and where he had been expecting a long slim penis, there was a roughly six inch. fat meaty cock, purple with arousal.

Gin turned around and bent over, allowing himself to become vulnerable in front of Kira and clutch the sheets. He heard Kira take a breath, and chuckled.

Kira looked at Gins asshole. It was a strange thing to see, something so intimate on another, especially a man he felt so strongly for. His ass was firm and white and he could see firm balls hanging, but it was the small puckered discolored thing he found himself fascinated with. His cock jumped.

"Is it to your standard? I know you've been with loads of men, Kira-kun" Gin said pleasantly. Kira looked over towards the man, his white hair fallen, shoulders squared as he knelt.

"You're beautiful" Kira said lightly, feeling pathetic as he said it, but accounting it to his lightheadedness at being with Gin once again. The words seemed to vibrate through Gin, who squared even more, before ducking his head to look back. Kira waited for a retort, or a taunt, or anything, but there was none, so he just went back to looking at the whole.

"And you know you're my first" Kira said, before gently poking the hole with an index finger. The skin just barely touched, but the whole thing sucked in, begging for the finger, wanting him. He said nothing as he gently poked at the whole before allowing the fingers tip in.

Gin shifted but said nothing, and Kira gently pushed the finger in, feeling the tightness as he closed around it. He pulled out again, and continued a few more times before going to add another finger. It didn't feel as if it had loosened up though, and Kira stopped halfway through the second one.

"Wait, doesn't it hurt?" Kira asked, feeling stupid at having assumed the quiet meant it was ok.

Gin turned to face Kira, his face blank and eyes opened as full as they would be. And they were watery. Kira pulled out, pulling the man to him right away on his sitting form so that the white hair was on his chest in a second.

Gin chuckled before Kira could apologize.

"Excuse my eyes, they're reacting to the sensitivity of it" Gin said, sitting up. Kira went blank faced and turned blushing-red at having assumed he had made the man cry.

Gin looked down and found the bulge lessened in Kiras boxers.

"You mean it didn't hurt?" Kira smiled, his whole body perking at it. Gin scowled.

"Lay on your back, take that off" he said, staring at Kira and enjoying the discomfort there at the lack of answer.

He did what he was told, and lay on his back. Gin stared at Kiras erection, giving off an air of confidence and making Kira shift. It was long, about eight inches, and while not as fat as Gins, it was certainly veiny and meaty. Gin wanted it with a sudden animalism, and crawled over until he was atop Kira, giving the man a peck. He rested his ass near the dick, letting it touch him on his backside.

"What is that you had said? Beautiful? Oh, and it did hurt, but I liked it. Isn't that strange?" Gin lamented, giving Kiras nose a lick.

Gin sat up, and Kira watched as he reached behind and gently pushed his cock out of the way, fingering himself. He gave out a grunt, and withing a second had two fingers pushing violently in and out, his eyes shut tight. Kira stared up, before reaching up at the mans face and stroking it, the eyes opening to meet his. Kira looked down, feeling his heart might explode from beating too hard, and reached for his own penis, holding it upright, before meeting Gins eyes again. Both of Gins hands moved to Kiras shoulders, and he slowly and steadily imaled himself on the cock, his face turning a red Kira had never seen, his fingers digging into Kiras shoulders. Gin stopped, and Kira had the realization that he was all the way in. It was hot and tight, and Kira focused on keeping it together. Gin was breathing deeply, and Kira gently pulled on his shoulders so he lay on his chest, which he did breathing heavily, and waited for his body to adjust to the obstruction.

It was then, listening to the beating of both hearts, that they realized just how perfect this was.

Gin sat up, and started moving foward and back, up and down. They kissed and they thrusted, and throughout the night, they made love.


End file.
